Notes from Norman

Machine Conquers Man

For quite a few years I’ve owned a table saw. It’s a handy piece of equipment that needs to be treated with respect, which I do 99.75 per cent of the time. It’s that other .25 per cent that got me in trouble.

I had it all set up in the garage, and made perfect cuts on some quarter inch interior plywood. It’s my practice to avoid standing directly behind the blade. Once in a while the saw decides to kick a piece of lumber backwards with a tremendous amount of force. If you don’t believe machines possess a certain amount of intelligence, you’ve probably never used a table saw. Not only does it possess intelligence, it has evil intent and waits for the operator to be caught off guard. I would compare it to standing behind a mule, but I don’t have many readers left who know anything about mules.

In this instance I was standing well the side of the saw blade. I made my cut slicker than STP on a screwdriver. I removed the board on the left side of the saw blade, and then reached to my right to turn the saw off. Unfortunately I forgot about the piece of board on the right side of the blade. Don’t get ahead of me. If you understand mules, think of standing to the left of a mule’s hind legs, and reaching to the right across both legs to unhitch the trace chain. If you don’t know what a trace chain is, I’m not gonna tell you. I would estimate that it took less than a second more for me to reach the switch. But within a nanosecond the blade caught the remaining board and hurled it against my arm. I yelled, but my yelling was not profane, though if I have ever been justified in cussing, this surely must have been the time.

posted by Norman @ 5:45 PM